But women will be saved through childbearing—if they continue in faith, love and holiness with propriety.
So I think I've established that I intend to use this blog for things I'm struggling with. But I've realised it would probably also be a good idea to use it for things I've learned outside struggling here.
I think one of my best examples is 1 Timothy 2:15. I learned this a fair while ago, but I've been struggling a bit through 1 Timothy lately so it has come up again (I will be blogging about other things from 1 Timothy in the near future, hopefully).
The verse above does seem pretty strange. It's pretty easy to read it to mean "the purpose of women is to bear children" -- amirite? Too bad for barren women. Guess they can't be saved. And I can't remember my exact response, but I have a feeling it was a bit "oh dear. I better reconsider my not-wanting-to-rush-to-become-a-mother thing". It seems the folks over at The Skeptic's Annotated Bible took it much the same way.
I think I continued with this understanding until, in some argument over some probably-embarassingly-stupid thing with D., I brought this verse up... and D. said to me "you realise that verse is talking about Jesus, right?"
Ohhhhh. Nope. No, I didn't. That makes a lot more sense. And gets rid of that absurd salvation-through-works problem.
So thank God, who places in our lives people who are older than us, wiser than us and have a different approach to Scripture to us. Thank God for D. And I hope that example illustrates why I want to bring out stuff I struggle to understand instead of just sitting by myself, not understanding :)
Tuesday, March 27, 2012
Sunday, November 13, 2011
Finding identity in all the wrong places.
I have an issue.
If it sounds like a non-issue when I describe it, it's because I'm guarded with what I actually share; I'm not willing to divulge the details (perhaps this is an issue in itself, I don't know; I'm hoping I can deal with it without divulging details). Essentially, I have been yearning for the approval of people whose approval really doesn't matter. And the reasons behind this yearning are ridiculous.
I mean, I'm generally well-liked. Even when I try to be passive-aggressive to make people feel bad (yes I know that's petty), they fawn over me. And I need to make a note that I have not done anything stupid for approval, nor anything nasty (I'm trying to present myself as a nice person mostly); rather, it's just the yearning that's stupid.
Because I'm going to go out on a limb and say that my yearning for the approval of others stems (partially, at least) from finding my identity not in what God thinks of me, but what people think of me.
Why? Why do I care so much?
I know the scriptures tell me this is wrong. Galatians 1:10, for example, says "If I were still trying to please men, I would not be a servant of Christ" -- should I not rather yearn to serve Christ, regardless of what people think of me?
I'm hoping recognition of this problem as stemming from an identity crisis helps me tackle it. Oh, the problem is deeper, sure; it stems from the heart of a sinner. But if I ground my desires in living as a woman of God, if I can find my identity not in the opinions of people but as a woman of God, maybe, just maybe, my heart will begin to change.
Any verses/advice on this would be helpful. Any opinions, really. Even if you are going to tell me things I really don't want to hear. I'll try and accept it gracefully.
I don't want to care so much about what people think. I want to serve them in love, even if it means they think I'm not a "nice" person. I want to serve them in love, not pander to their expectations to receive ego strokes. I want to serve them in love and not in selfishness.
If it sounds like a non-issue when I describe it, it's because I'm guarded with what I actually share; I'm not willing to divulge the details (perhaps this is an issue in itself, I don't know; I'm hoping I can deal with it without divulging details). Essentially, I have been yearning for the approval of people whose approval really doesn't matter. And the reasons behind this yearning are ridiculous.
I mean, I'm generally well-liked. Even when I try to be passive-aggressive to make people feel bad (yes I know that's petty), they fawn over me. And I need to make a note that I have not done anything stupid for approval, nor anything nasty (I'm trying to present myself as a nice person mostly); rather, it's just the yearning that's stupid.
Because I'm going to go out on a limb and say that my yearning for the approval of others stems (partially, at least) from finding my identity not in what God thinks of me, but what people think of me.
Why? Why do I care so much?
I know the scriptures tell me this is wrong. Galatians 1:10, for example, says "If I were still trying to please men, I would not be a servant of Christ" -- should I not rather yearn to serve Christ, regardless of what people think of me?
I'm hoping recognition of this problem as stemming from an identity crisis helps me tackle it. Oh, the problem is deeper, sure; it stems from the heart of a sinner. But if I ground my desires in living as a woman of God, if I can find my identity not in the opinions of people but as a woman of God, maybe, just maybe, my heart will begin to change.
Any verses/advice on this would be helpful. Any opinions, really. Even if you are going to tell me things I really don't want to hear. I'll try and accept it gracefully.
I don't want to care so much about what people think. I want to serve them in love, even if it means they think I'm not a "nice" person. I want to serve them in love, not pander to their expectations to receive ego strokes. I want to serve them in love and not in selfishness.
Monday, September 26, 2011
Opening track to Alice Cooper's new album
In the beginning I was just a shadow
In the beginning I was alone
In the beginning I was blind, living in a world devoid of light
In the beginning there was only night
I was shattered, left in pieces
And I felt so cold inside
Then I called you from the darkness
Where I hide
I am made of you
I am made of you
I am made of you
I am made of you
In the beginning you were revelation
A river of salvation and now I believe
All I wanted, all I needed
Was someone to rescue me
I was drowning, I was dying
Now I'm free
I am made of you
I am made of you
I am made of you
I am made of you
Here I am now, I can stand now
Cause your love has made me strong
And forever you're the singer
I'm the song
I am made of you
I am made of you
I am made of you
I am made of you
I am made of you
I am made of you
I am made of you
I am made of you
In the beginning I was alone
In the beginning I was blind, living in a world devoid of light
In the beginning there was only night
I was shattered, left in pieces
And I felt so cold inside
Then I called you from the darkness
Where I hide
I am made of you
I am made of you
I am made of you
I am made of you
In the beginning you were revelation
A river of salvation and now I believe
All I wanted, all I needed
Was someone to rescue me
I was drowning, I was dying
Now I'm free
I am made of you
I am made of you
I am made of you
I am made of you
Here I am now, I can stand now
Cause your love has made me strong
And forever you're the singer
I'm the song
I am made of you
I am made of you
I am made of you
I am made of you
I am made of you
I am made of you
I am made of you
I am made of you
Wednesday, August 31, 2011
The company of apostles.
Acts 2:42-47
They devoted themselves to the apostles' teaching and to the fellowship, to the breaking of bread and to prayer. Everyone was filled with awe, and many wonders and miraculous signs were done by the apostles. All the believers were together and had everything in common. Selling their possessions and goods, they gave to anyone as he had need. Every day they continued to meet together in the temple courts. They broke bread in their homes and ate together with glad and sincere hearts, praising God and enjoying the favor of all the people. And the Lord added to their number daily those who were being saved.
There is so much going on in this passage and one could probably talk about it for a looooong time. And what I am about to say undoubtedly seems like a diversion.
But when I read this the other night, I was thinking about how awesome it would be to spend time with Christians daily. And not just any Christians, but the apostles! Those who had walked with Jesus! Being dedicated to their teaching...!
John says the following about all the things that Jesus did:
If every one of them were written down, I suppose that even the whole world would not have room for the books that would be written (John 21:25).
But these guys... these guys were there. Can you imagine the stories that were told in these days? Can you imagine all the things they talked about it in these days? Even a small passage like this is inexhaustible... and the apostles, they had seen much more.
Viv said this passage was like a vision of heaven. I gotta say... I'm keen for heaven :D
They devoted themselves to the apostles' teaching and to the fellowship, to the breaking of bread and to prayer. Everyone was filled with awe, and many wonders and miraculous signs were done by the apostles. All the believers were together and had everything in common. Selling their possessions and goods, they gave to anyone as he had need. Every day they continued to meet together in the temple courts. They broke bread in their homes and ate together with glad and sincere hearts, praising God and enjoying the favor of all the people. And the Lord added to their number daily those who were being saved.
There is so much going on in this passage and one could probably talk about it for a looooong time. And what I am about to say undoubtedly seems like a diversion.
But when I read this the other night, I was thinking about how awesome it would be to spend time with Christians daily. And not just any Christians, but the apostles! Those who had walked with Jesus! Being dedicated to their teaching...!
John says the following about all the things that Jesus did:
If every one of them were written down, I suppose that even the whole world would not have room for the books that would be written (John 21:25).
But these guys... these guys were there. Can you imagine the stories that were told in these days? Can you imagine all the things they talked about it in these days? Even a small passage like this is inexhaustible... and the apostles, they had seen much more.
Viv said this passage was like a vision of heaven. I gotta say... I'm keen for heaven :D
Tuesday, November 23, 2010
Tuesday, September 14, 2010
Luke 18:9-14
Continuing in my "not satisfied with the answers" strain of thought.
Another question, which the answerer received beforehand (so knew was coming), was this: If God is up in heaven, why do look down when we pray?
The answerer said first that he doesn't believe that God is only in heaven, but everywhere. I'm not entirely sure about this, but I was okay with him saying so. I might think about that some other time.
I think he put something in there about how if you do something wrong, and are going to your parents about it, you don't look them in the face. This was good and I wished he had continued in this strain. He didn't.
He finished by talking about how God is really really awesome and we're not so awesome. So it's just an admission of how awesome God is. But I don't think "not so awesome" really describes us at all.
I mean, we see lowered heads for prayer in the bible. Jesus talks about it a lot. So if something we practice goes back to the bible, is that not a good enough explanation for why we do it? And furthermore, isn't it a good opportunity to get kids looking to the bible for answers?
It reminds me of Jim's (excellent) sermon on Sunday. He talked about how he was looking for a sermon illustration on google and youtube, something like the story of Lot's wife. And then he was like--oh! the story of Lot's wife! I could use that as a sermon illustration! Who would have thought we could use scripture to illuminate scripture? (Unfortunately I think many missed that he was taking a stab...even at other things that had happened that night).
But anyway. Let's have a look at the bible.
Luke 18:9-14
To some who were confident of their own righteousness and looked down on everybody else, Jesus told this parable: "Two men went up to the temple to pray, one a Pharisee and the other a tax collector. The Pharisee stood up and prayed about himself: 'God, I thank you that I am not like other men--robbers, evildoers, adulterers--or even like this tax collector. I fast twice a week and give a tenth of all I get.'
"But the tax collector stood at a distance. He would not even look up to heaven, but beat his breast and said, 'God, have mercy on me, a sinner.'
"I tell you that this man, rather than the other, went home justified before God. For everyone who exalts himself will be humbled, and he who humbles himself will be exalted."
So--Jesus honours the act of looking down during prayer. But what does it mean? It's clear here that "it's because we're not so awesome" just doesn't cut it. When we look down, it is an admission that we are not worthy of God's attention. When we look down, it is an admission that we have rebelled against a holy God. When we look down, we are being humble and admitting what we are.
And if we admit that we are no good, God will exalt us in the end. Jesus didn't come to save the not so awesome but kinda awesome. Jesus came to save sinners, which is what we are.
I think I will make one more post about answers I was unsatisfied with--there was one about--oh, I can't even remember. If I do I will write it down.
It saddens me that the answerer did not even open a bible on Friday night.
I also want to post about what we looked at at bible study this week, so hopefully writing it here will make me commit to it. And I like writing about sermons too.
I'm also listening to a Japanese audio bible. Very exciting. But I don't really understand very much but an ocassional word... the reader saying the chapter and verse numbers... yeah.
Another question, which the answerer received beforehand (so knew was coming), was this: If God is up in heaven, why do look down when we pray?
The answerer said first that he doesn't believe that God is only in heaven, but everywhere. I'm not entirely sure about this, but I was okay with him saying so. I might think about that some other time.
I think he put something in there about how if you do something wrong, and are going to your parents about it, you don't look them in the face. This was good and I wished he had continued in this strain. He didn't.
He finished by talking about how God is really really awesome and we're not so awesome. So it's just an admission of how awesome God is. But I don't think "not so awesome" really describes us at all.
I mean, we see lowered heads for prayer in the bible. Jesus talks about it a lot. So if something we practice goes back to the bible, is that not a good enough explanation for why we do it? And furthermore, isn't it a good opportunity to get kids looking to the bible for answers?
It reminds me of Jim's (excellent) sermon on Sunday. He talked about how he was looking for a sermon illustration on google and youtube, something like the story of Lot's wife. And then he was like--oh! the story of Lot's wife! I could use that as a sermon illustration! Who would have thought we could use scripture to illuminate scripture? (Unfortunately I think many missed that he was taking a stab...even at other things that had happened that night).
But anyway. Let's have a look at the bible.
Luke 18:9-14
To some who were confident of their own righteousness and looked down on everybody else, Jesus told this parable: "Two men went up to the temple to pray, one a Pharisee and the other a tax collector. The Pharisee stood up and prayed about himself: 'God, I thank you that I am not like other men--robbers, evildoers, adulterers--or even like this tax collector. I fast twice a week and give a tenth of all I get.'
"But the tax collector stood at a distance. He would not even look up to heaven, but beat his breast and said, 'God, have mercy on me, a sinner.'
"I tell you that this man, rather than the other, went home justified before God. For everyone who exalts himself will be humbled, and he who humbles himself will be exalted."
So--Jesus honours the act of looking down during prayer. But what does it mean? It's clear here that "it's because we're not so awesome" just doesn't cut it. When we look down, it is an admission that we are not worthy of God's attention. When we look down, it is an admission that we have rebelled against a holy God. When we look down, we are being humble and admitting what we are.
And if we admit that we are no good, God will exalt us in the end. Jesus didn't come to save the not so awesome but kinda awesome. Jesus came to save sinners, which is what we are.
I think I will make one more post about answers I was unsatisfied with--there was one about--oh, I can't even remember. If I do I will write it down.
It saddens me that the answerer did not even open a bible on Friday night.
I also want to post about what we looked at at bible study this week, so hopefully writing it here will make me commit to it. And I like writing about sermons too.
I'm also listening to a Japanese audio bible. Very exciting. But I don't really understand very much but an ocassional word... the reader saying the chapter and verse numbers... yeah.
Monday, September 13, 2010
John 14:6
On Friday night, one of my girls asked a question along these lines:
So you all put your faith in this stuff but it just comes from a book. And it's good for you, but wouldn't it be the same--would it be okay if I put my faith in, like, good luck, or myself, for example? Wouldn't that still be as good for me?
And the answer she received dissatisfied me. It was something along these lines:
I don't think God is concerned with the little things. Lots of people do--I have friends who insist that when they're driving and need a parking spot, they pray, and oh hey! there's a parking spot. I'm not convinced. I think where prayer makes a different is in big life decisions. Like one of the biggest miracles in life is from people who don't know God, turning into people who do believe in God.
Youth: But has it actually changed your life?
Answerer: Well, no, not me. You see I was raised as a Christian.
Youth: Has it changed any of your lives? *looking around the room*
Answerer: No, I can deal with your questions. I have known a guy who by following God did fix his life. It fixed his family life. He was having problems, but when he became a Christian that got better. Look, I'm going to have to end this conversation here, and let some other people ask questions.
End recount.
I'm not omitting anything, I promise you. If anything, I fear that I have actually added some flow that was not there in the first place.
It seemed to me that the answerer did not deal with these questions. So, I decided to take it upon myself, here. (I do already talk to this youth regularly about her questions, so please don't think that I'm just sitting in the back seat.) I don't really want to deal with the just a book thing though. I did a lot of reading and researching such things about half way through the year and I am convinced that the bible is *not* just a book (sorry, Queensland stoner lawyer) and that it (its contents, at least) is worthy of faith.
Jesus says in John 14:6:
I am the way and the truth and the life. No one comes to the Father except through me.
Pretty big claim. If this is true, if there is no other way to the Father, then faith in good luck/yourself is pretty fruitless. Only faith in Jesus counts. He doesn't call himself "a" way--but "the" way.
But what if you don't care to be with the Father?
Well, there's a parable about this. Matthew 22:1-14
Jesus spoke to them again in parables, saying: "The kingdom of heaven is like a king who prepared a wedding banquet for his son. He sent his servants to those who had been invited to the banquet to tell them to come, but they refused to come.
"Then he sent some more servants and said, 'Tell those who have been invited that I have prepared my dinner: My oxen and fattened cattle have been butchered, and everything is ready. Come to the wedding banquet.'
"But they paid no attention and went off--one to his field, another to his business. The rest seized his servants, mistreated them and killed them. The king was enraged. He sent his army and destroyed those murderers and burned their city.
"Then he said to his servants, 'The wedding banquet is ready, but those I invited did not deserve to come. Go to the street corners and invite to the banquet anyone you find.' So the servants went out into the streets and gathered all the people they could find, both good and bad, and the wedding hall was filled with guests.
"But when the king came in to see the guests, he noticed a man who was not wearing wedding clothes. 'Friend,' he asked, 'how did you get in here without wedding clothes?' The man was speechless.
Then the king told his attendants, 'Tie him hand and foot, and throw him outside, into the darkness, where there will be weeping and gnashing of teeth.'
"For many are invited, but few are chosen."
There are some absolutely encouraging things in here--for example, that all are invited to the banquet, good and bad. The king invites even the scum into his banquet, just as God the Father made a way into heaven for sinners, through Jesus. But there are scary things in here too.
The first is that those who outright reject God the father, who want nothing of his salvation, will be destroyed. There's not really anything more to it.
The second is that those who try to get into heaven through the wrong avenues don't make it, but are thrown out into suffering. The wrong avenues here are any avenues other than Jesus--so I guess that includes having faith in good luck or having faith in yourself, all that kind of thing. Jesus says that he is the only way.
These are pretty big claims the bible is making. Pretty big and pretty exclusive. If it's true, it's worth taking heed.
So then, the question of what you put your faith in is *not* a question of what you think works for you--but what you believe is true. I don't intend on this sounding Pascally wagery, so please forgive me for the brief slip.
If Jesus was a real person, and he was telling the truth when he said he was the only way, the consequences of choosing against him--choosing good luck or yourself, for example--are disastrous. If it's not true, it doesn't really matter.
But I just want to beg that when you choose what to believe, what to put your faith in, that it is not so arbitrary as what appeals to you/what you personally like. Please, search for truth. Even if you search through other religions--I am okay with that. But it's a big decision--so try and make it right.
So you all put your faith in this stuff but it just comes from a book. And it's good for you, but wouldn't it be the same--would it be okay if I put my faith in, like, good luck, or myself, for example? Wouldn't that still be as good for me?
And the answer she received dissatisfied me. It was something along these lines:
I don't think God is concerned with the little things. Lots of people do--I have friends who insist that when they're driving and need a parking spot, they pray, and oh hey! there's a parking spot. I'm not convinced. I think where prayer makes a different is in big life decisions. Like one of the biggest miracles in life is from people who don't know God, turning into people who do believe in God.
Youth: But has it actually changed your life?
Answerer: Well, no, not me. You see I was raised as a Christian.
Youth: Has it changed any of your lives? *looking around the room*
Answerer: No, I can deal with your questions. I have known a guy who by following God did fix his life. It fixed his family life. He was having problems, but when he became a Christian that got better. Look, I'm going to have to end this conversation here, and let some other people ask questions.
End recount.
I'm not omitting anything, I promise you. If anything, I fear that I have actually added some flow that was not there in the first place.
It seemed to me that the answerer did not deal with these questions. So, I decided to take it upon myself, here. (I do already talk to this youth regularly about her questions, so please don't think that I'm just sitting in the back seat.) I don't really want to deal with the just a book thing though. I did a lot of reading and researching such things about half way through the year and I am convinced that the bible is *not* just a book (sorry, Queensland stoner lawyer) and that it (its contents, at least) is worthy of faith.
Jesus says in John 14:6:
I am the way and the truth and the life. No one comes to the Father except through me.
Pretty big claim. If this is true, if there is no other way to the Father, then faith in good luck/yourself is pretty fruitless. Only faith in Jesus counts. He doesn't call himself "a" way--but "the" way.
But what if you don't care to be with the Father?
Well, there's a parable about this. Matthew 22:1-14
Jesus spoke to them again in parables, saying: "The kingdom of heaven is like a king who prepared a wedding banquet for his son. He sent his servants to those who had been invited to the banquet to tell them to come, but they refused to come.
"Then he sent some more servants and said, 'Tell those who have been invited that I have prepared my dinner: My oxen and fattened cattle have been butchered, and everything is ready. Come to the wedding banquet.'
"But they paid no attention and went off--one to his field, another to his business. The rest seized his servants, mistreated them and killed them. The king was enraged. He sent his army and destroyed those murderers and burned their city.
"Then he said to his servants, 'The wedding banquet is ready, but those I invited did not deserve to come. Go to the street corners and invite to the banquet anyone you find.' So the servants went out into the streets and gathered all the people they could find, both good and bad, and the wedding hall was filled with guests.
"But when the king came in to see the guests, he noticed a man who was not wearing wedding clothes. 'Friend,' he asked, 'how did you get in here without wedding clothes?' The man was speechless.
Then the king told his attendants, 'Tie him hand and foot, and throw him outside, into the darkness, where there will be weeping and gnashing of teeth.'
"For many are invited, but few are chosen."
There are some absolutely encouraging things in here--for example, that all are invited to the banquet, good and bad. The king invites even the scum into his banquet, just as God the Father made a way into heaven for sinners, through Jesus. But there are scary things in here too.
The first is that those who outright reject God the father, who want nothing of his salvation, will be destroyed. There's not really anything more to it.
The second is that those who try to get into heaven through the wrong avenues don't make it, but are thrown out into suffering. The wrong avenues here are any avenues other than Jesus--so I guess that includes having faith in good luck or having faith in yourself, all that kind of thing. Jesus says that he is the only way.
These are pretty big claims the bible is making. Pretty big and pretty exclusive. If it's true, it's worth taking heed.
So then, the question of what you put your faith in is *not* a question of what you think works for you--but what you believe is true. I don't intend on this sounding Pascally wagery, so please forgive me for the brief slip.
If Jesus was a real person, and he was telling the truth when he said he was the only way, the consequences of choosing against him--choosing good luck or yourself, for example--are disastrous. If it's not true, it doesn't really matter.
But I just want to beg that when you choose what to believe, what to put your faith in, that it is not so arbitrary as what appeals to you/what you personally like. Please, search for truth. Even if you search through other religions--I am okay with that. But it's a big decision--so try and make it right.
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